A Letter to my Dearest Departed Brownie. . .

My Dearest Brownie,

I have to write this letter to you – now. Before you move on forever. Now, while you are still around me in spirit and are trying to help me cope with my grief.

There are so many things I want you to know and understand.

You came into our house a tiny weak pup, straight off the street. You and Tuggy. But you stormed into our hearts with all the strength of a hurricane. You entered every part of our being and existence and left a lasting impact. And it was not just your unique features – the glistening chocolate brown coat on a spectacular small frame, and those light brown eyes which spoke the knowledge of the world.

Whether it was your shy nature, your forever seeking, probing eyes asking for permission for even a little thing;

Or your excitement at going out for a drive; barking joyously at Bipin's arrival from the office every evening; running in the woods and chasing the birds; interacting with the other street dogs and inviting them generously to share the circle of your warmth and loved ones:

Whether it was your pleasure at eating your food and only diving into it after I kissed you on the nose;

Or it was rocking your head fondly and rushing to me at the mention of the word 'brushing';

Whether it was your playfulness at midnight when you and Tuggy chased around the house or in the parking;

Or just sitting quietly and patiently, looking out for me and my needs and expectations, hanging on to my words, actions and subtle reactions;

Or whether it was your insistence at snuggling between the sheets with us at night, or laying your head in the crook of my arm or leg and staring at me with those innocent eyes;

They are all endless memories of your sweet, unselfish love and bonding. . .

I want to tell you how important and significant each moment with you was. . .your every gaze, mischievous when you played, or bewildered when you couldn't find us; soothing when you waited and frightened when you didn't want to leave the house; beseeching for water and filled with puzzlement in the last days. . .every single blink of your eyes, wag of your tail, crook of your straight long ears, feel of your warm firm body is a precious part of me and will remain with me forever. . .I love you Brownie, I love you so much and miss you so much that I feel that the world has stopped with your heart beats. My grief knows no outlet.

You were only four when you passed away but you gave us a lifetime of joy, love, tolerance, learning and wisdom. . .perhaps that's why you left us. . .we were the luckiest and the most privileged people in the world to have you with us. . .even for such a short time. . .Thank you for your unconditional love, sensitivity and support, for your thoughtfulness, obedience and caring, and for making us feel special and wanted.

I always called you my Angel and my reindeer sent by Santa Claus. Now I know that you really were one.

I adore you and hope that God will take special care of you and that you are happy and in good health wherever you are. . .

God Bless You my dearest Brownie. . .

You are in my heart for several lifetimes now. . .

Manjiri

Brownie : Born on 20th March 2005

Departed on 8th August 2009